Skip to main content

IOC

Offred's Back Again?? (IOC)

By Elena Rehberg 

The Passage




The Recording

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jx86dCH9OrdybHQ__-lQmciLjBxzyui9/view?usp=sharing

(I missed the whole thing about saying your name at the beginning and cutting off at ten minutes... I'm sorry)

The Grading

Criterion A Score: 7/10
The commentary shows very good knowledge and understanding of the text; comments are supported by well-chosen references to the text. 
I marked myself in this section at the lower end because while I did demonstrate a good amount of knowledge and understanding, I think I lacked in explaining some context of the novel, as well as providing a little more background to Atwood's time period. 

Criterion B Score: 6/10
There is adequate awareness and illustration of the use of literary features, with understanding of their effects on the reader.
For criterion B, I marked myself in the higher end of the adequate section because I got a little scatter-brained once I got going and tried to focus on too many things at once. Since I did this, I got off track when trying to provide thorough explanations for my quotes and their significance, and I didn't discuss the impact on the reader much, but rather focused on society. 

Criterion C Score: 4/5
The commentary is well organized, the structure is mostly coherent.
I scored myself a little lower than what's expected just because I didn't stay under the ten minute mark, and also, I was somewhat scatter-brained near the conclusion of my discussion. 

Criterion D Score: 4/5
The language is clear and appropriate, with a good degree of accuracy in grammar and sentence construction; register and style are effective and appropriate to the commentary. 
In criterion D, I gave myself a mark below the best because while for the most part I used various words, I did repeat myself occasionally and apologized at the end of my voice recording, which might not be appreciated by my IB examiner. 

Comments

  1. Lauren GeneskyMarch 13, 2019 at 8:46 AM

    Elena:

    - A bit more lead-in about the text as a whole- title, author, year of publication, AND a brief summary- before zooming in to the passage itself.
    - Good structure and organization; strong thesis. Be sure you keep linking back to those key ideas to prove how they are developed in the passage
    - Make sure you are really looking at the passage ONLY- there are places where you are kinda veering into "book club"; additionally, make sure you are not just listing devices and are actually spending time analyzing (remember that rephrasing ISN'T analysis)

    A: 5
    B: 5
    C: 4
    D: 4

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It was

It Was... By Elena Rehberg It was the spark of a flame everlasting in the embodiment of passionate individuals. Individuals that were taught how to become a part  of more. To work coherently  in the face of adversity. We grew and we challenged, our thoughts and our peers. We took the depths of our minds and  expanded them. It was a beautiful spark of curiosity, igniting the flame of controversy. We looked beyond what we knew, and focused in on  what we didn't. We listened and we were heard. The stress couldn't begin to compare to the smiles and relationships created. It paid off, and provided us a community we couldn't have found elsewhere. Some could say: "It was the best of times; it was the worst of times." And we know this has molded us in a way like no other. After all it was only IB.
3 comments
Read more

Meta Translation

Metamorphosis Translation By: Elena Rehberg The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka was originally published in German but when it was translated to English, it still contained themes of the absurdity of existence, although not to the degree of hopelessness. It's important to recognize the impact of translation, as it can alter the author's original intention or make it lack cohesiveness.  Kafka's first line of  Metamorphosis  sets the tone for the remainder of the text, and the English translation provides a simplistic introduction. What Can Be Lost in Translation? Translation #1: " Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug." The first translation is a moderate length and contains words that are easy to understand, perhaps alluding that this book is about a common man, or an average person. The imagery provided in this line is worrisome as "uneasy dreams" hold neg...
Post a Comment
Read more

Storytelling

Storytelling By Elena Rehberg (Pd. 3A) https://www.ted.com/talks/sarah_kay_if_i_should_have_a_daughter The TED Talk I watched was called "If I Should Have A Daughter.." given by Sarah Kay in 2011. In this discussion, she talks about the power of a story when it comes from a dedicated author, and the power of spoken word poetry. In her talk, she highlights three key steps to her success with writing spoken word poetry. The first she identifies is deciding that she can, which was her inspiration in knowing she was able to create poetry that all different people would be capable of relating to. The second was her deciding she will , in that she will continue to write poetry in hopes of connecting with people and helping them understand they're not alone. The final step in her success was her recognition that her writing could be whatever she wanted it to be, and that it didn't have to mimic what other's have been good at. In all of this, Sarah Kay is seekin...
2 comments
Read more